im not ignoring your snapchats, im just too ugly to reply at the moment
does anybody else think tired and sleepy mean two totally different things
sleepy is cute and dozing off and happy but tired is 10 cups of coffee and murder
nerd: touch my butt and buy me pizza
me: fuck my ass and pay for all my groceries
the sound of teenage girls laughing near you when you’re by yourself is literally the most terrifying thing a person can experience
" leave food in microwave for 5 mins to cool before eating "
My whole family assumes I’m straight and it’s like if I say anything like “wow that girl is so pretty” they’re like “you’re pretty too don’t compare yourself’ like no mom the only thing I’m comparing is the width between her legs and how well I could fit.